allie's house, june 2008, late late night.
these last few months i've been toying with the idea of transferring out, going to pre-law, going pre-med. infinite voices of influential adults have been telling me i can just write on the side, take photos as a hobby- and as i began to believe them my tiny future-snapshot of myself gained a women's power suit and faux leather heels, probably a silver car. and a tiny nikon F tucked in the glove compartment (if they even make film anymore)
and yet it's been even longer since i wrote or posted photographs since the last; my job has been meandering into full time, and what isn't taken up by full time (which, by definition, isn't much) is taken up by catharsis in the basements and forests of my town and friends.
what's left is a mind that keeps staying up for more than 24 hours at a time, one that has an awful lot of notes lying next to a bed that made sense in half sleep but are of no use to anyone anymore.
today is my last day at work. i'm quitting, and they've bought me a cake, and they think i don't know. and i never thought i'd start missing a job like that. but these last few days have been awful nice, in the true sense of the phrase.
expect more from me, because i do. though this new revelation that work might kill what little hobbies i have floating on the side scares both me and the power suit away. looks as though i'm destined again to the pipe-dream of my former aspirations, even with the big black clouds of knowledge and realism gaining speed.
delusions of grandeur require a certain amount of staying in front of the storm.
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